Following Yves

β€œIn the ambition was a desire to make over the world as it should be; but in the disappearances was the desire to live as though it had been made over, to refashion oneself into a hero who disappeared not only into the sky, the sea, the wilderness, but into a conception of self, into legend, into the heights of possibility.”- Rebecca Solnit, From: Yves Klein and the Blue of Distance, A Field Guide to Getting Lost

ode to yves

colorflyingsky

ode to yves2

In the car heading towards the Blue Ridge Mountains, the writer next to me says, “I am sure I know what it is to fly. I am sure I have flown.” The conversation turns to what the ‘feeling’ of flight is. Gliding? Rising? Hovering? in a waking state or within the dream. And if the act was in a dream, has it in fact happened? Or as Estha asks in Arundhati Roy’s, The God of Small Things “If you are happy in a dream, Ammu, does that count?”

We, like Ammu, know “that only what counts, counts.”

Memory is as illusive in its truths. Shifting at times from the hippocampus to the neocortex. Unstable and associative, we can never know its presence fully. Do we privilege our waking state because our memories seem easier to recall than our dreams which though we may grab their tales are always slippery.

In the dream I stand out on a desolate pier. It is morning. Early. I am home, or not home, have never been here, yet know this place fully. I reach my arms upwards towards the sky but am falling. Awakening as I hit the water.

I do not have Yves Klein’s courage or fortitude. I step more like a clown, though expecting to be a feather. Seeking lift-off, knowing one must leap.

leap

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Flight training desperate measure

past few nights monkeys in the foyer, a series of white colonnaded steps leading in every direction. there is a menacing stranger oblivious to the monkey’s rapidly ascending of the steps. the glass doors to the shape shifting houseboat at the edge of the field are locked. my legs will not move. the stranger is getting closer. the monkeys are at play.

i wake knowing i need more training. ability to get off the ground. to make the iconography of childhood present in dreams. i find a cape and begin training.

the flyer asks too much of the air. the lacuna of molecules between her and the surface of ground still too wide. more training will follow.

honey, salt, sleeping in drag and the open sea

Strategies from Anuj Larvaidya, Fellow Dreamer:

a drop of honey trapped beneath the tongue evokes sweet dreams at night; an infant choir singing you to sleep can lead to playful dreams; a grasshopper in the room causes jump cut dreaming; sleeping with one eye open induces split personality dreaming; sleeping in drag invokes fabulous dreams; swallowing citrus seeds at dusk can lead to pungent dreaming; snoring can provoke waking dreams in other people; a pinch of salt on the kneecap leads to dreams of the open sea; a hot bath in the middle of the night agitates the dream nerve; sleeping with your arms wrapped around someone opens a portal of dreams; sleeping with the stars in your eyes has been known to induce dreamflight.